did you?

have you ever asked yourself

did you do enough?
did you good enough?
did you and did you...

the conversation about how you do today sometimes, well it takes more time than I thought, keeping you awake in the midnight. regretting things you did, the words you slipped in, the stupid stepping you took. The conversation between the good and the bad spinning around your head. while the bad say it's ok they deserve it, the good say no, it's not. in the end you blame yourself for everything you did and keep wondering, how if I take the other way?

the conversation about do you worth enough to somebody else keeping me awake these days. until I decide to sleep more and more to deny the conversation. yes, I'm lonely and somehow I like to be alone at a time. but at point, I just can't take it when I had nobody to talk with, to share what I feel, to laugh and cry together. I miss somebody who miss me that much.

on the last meet up with those friends, they say something that makes me surprise.
I'm a good listener
I'm happy to hear that. in the end, my existence has something good to complete. after all these time I always doubt myself. finally...

until somebody said, I'm quite egoist, while I'm trying to be a better person, a brighter one, more open to the others. at first it slaps me right in front of my face. it hurts. but, that's it. he didn't matter to my life, he's nobody to my happiness. I try to let the emotion go and accept myself the way it is.

and here I'm.
try to survive in this concrete jungle. try to be happier.
to find another love...